However, after a short season I began to grow stagnant, searching God for so much more..and just not seeming to get any further in my spiritual growth...I was still experiencing all of the gifts he had given me..I was still receiving words of knowledge...I was still having dreams and visions... .but I wanted more...I had reached a plateau in Jesus. At this point, a friend of my invited me to a revival at her church...I went and was so blessed...the spirit of God was moving...people were hearing from God. The Pastor came up to me... and said, "You have experienced a great move of God before in your life.... and now you are praying for more... In order for you to experience another great move you have to become bolder..." I left there feeling so thankful but so frustrated at the same time... I was so thankful that I had received a word from God, but I was so frustrated because in my mind I was extremely bold! In my mind, I was radical! What did God mean...What was I not doing.....? It seemed as though heaven was quiet... I received no revelation at all regarding my boldness or lack there of...Becoming so frustrated in my own understand or lack thereof I started to become weary and disobedient...for years... I did what I wanted...and not what God was wanting....
One day I picked up my bible and begun to read through all my old notes where Jesus was teaching me to love him... I began to feel engulfed by the Holy Spirit again... It was such a welcomed feeling... A few days later I was reading the word and I found myself reading an old favorite passage...Ephesians 6: 10-20. As I was reading I got to verse 19 and 20 which says, " And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly,to make known the mystery of the gospel. For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly as I ought to speak. " The word BOLDLY seemed to glow off the page... I went back and read aloud those two verses... BOLDLY....BOLDLY...BOLDLY... The Holy Spirit brought back to my remembrance that night at the revival and the word that the past, the man of God, had given me. The Holy Spirit began to show me that when I received salvation I received the Holy Ghost...and through the spiritual gifts Jesus had imparted unto me...one of which was the gift of tongues... and that gift I had chosen not to use... The Holy Spirit convicted me and reminded me how I had petitioned God over and over for more of him...but what Jesus had already given me..I wasn't using..The Lord said to me, "You have let the world tell you what to do and not my spirit...you have let the world interrupt my word and not my spirit...you became afraid of persuction...you became fearful of rejection of man over fear of me..I had already given you a gift that would BOLDLY take you straight to my throne and you choose not to use it... you have left me...I did not leave you... You have spent years seeking man's advice...asking me to send people to teach you my ways...to teach you my spirit....to teach you how to seek me more initiamtely...but you never asked me...you never prayed for me to teach you... Until one day my spirit lead you to 1 John 2:27, 'But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.'.... then I casued you to understand...that not by might or by power but by my spirit I will caused you to understand all things... I, even I will open up your understanding...I will teach you to seek me...I will draw you... I will show you how to use the gifts I have given you for my glory I have annointed you.... It is I who will show you the mysteries I have hidden for those who seek me... repent and all things will be made new... repent and I will open up heaven...Turn to me for gudience for all understanding and I will do as you ask... for I love you with a great love... you are mine!"
What a humbling lesson... and a costly one... I spent so many years not walking in God's spirit because of lack of knowledge...because of the fear of rejection by man... because of that I was not obedient... because of that I sinned.... When I received this revlation knowledge from the Lord I immediately asked for forgiveness and eartestly sought him in all prayer and understanding I sought the LORD for forgiveness and restoration... and the Lord being faithful forgave and restored fully!! Praise the Lord God Almighty!!
.....To much is given much is required! And you will be held accountable for what you have been given and have not used.... You will be accountable for your time here on earth!
Zechariah 4:6 Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.
1 John 2:27
But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.
Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
Deuteronomy 6:13
Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.
Proverbs 15:33
The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.
Isaiah 8:13
Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.
Isaiah 33:6 And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.
Isaiah 41:13
For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
Hebrews 13:6
So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear
Proverbs 7:15 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear
Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
Proverbs 8:17
I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Isaiah 11:2
And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;
Jeremiah 29:13
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Galatians 1:10 (Whole Chapter)
For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Ephesians 6:20
For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
Isaiah 45:3
And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel.
1 Corinthians 2:7 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 6: 19-20 19And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory:
