[rhema/vision] 11/12/11
The last several days I have been thinking a lot about the people God weaves in and out of our lives through out our journey with Him (hearing the word 'Tapestry"). Seemingly random people pop into our lives and we identify with their spirit and become great friends. Not really completely understanding that even those connections are significant. God has them ordained for such a time as this. For they are key players, if you will, in the next leg our our race.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with such a friend, an apostle friend. I honestly can't remember the day she entered my life but the friendship seems to be ordained by God as He is using her to encourage me. For this next leg is requiring much encouragement as He is revealing some wounds that need to be healed.
As we were conversing, she offered to sow into my ministry. Upon hearing her say the word "Sow" I actually got so tongue tied as I was completely thrown off guard. Who am I that she would sow into my work...I felt so unworthy of her offer.
As I began to really ponder this and seek the Lord, He started revealing to me the purpose of the course He has taken with me over the couple months (exactly two months today). On September 12th I had a dream that left me saying, "NO NO NO Lord " upon awakening. Let me explain the "NO NO NO's". In this dream I heard the Lord say 'Never alone". I will copy and paste that journal entry.
[dream] 9/12/11
HEARD: Being a warrior was a calling for her. But, under the same sharing apostle.
Hebrews 3:1
"Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest."
I heard a song, during this dream, but it was a song that I knew... As I focused on the song I...
HEARD: "Never alone"
Now at the point I had this dream, I had not questioned as to whether or not I was alone. For I understood and trusted the Lord would never leave me. However, He knew the time I was about to enter. He knew that during that time I would question whether or not He had left me. So, He was providing encouragement before I ever got there. Reassuring me that He was still there and that I was not alone. My "NO NO NO" was because I understood from the dream that this time was coming and I didn't want to walk there. It has been my history that when I enter into these sifting or breaking periods that God will hide Himself to allow me to grow... to make me seek him deeper. I was currently experiencing a flow in the supernatural. Having more dreams and visions than I ever had and I just didn't want that intimacy with the Lord to be put on hold. As I was anticipating a "pause" in our relationship and I had come to rely on the Lord's daily words like I depend on air to breath. Regardless of the necessary growth I needed, I was not looking forward to this time.
However, the Lord knows best and true to this dream over the last couple of months I found myself wondering where God was as the flow that I was experiencing had slowed to a trickle and I was not enjoying it at all. I found myself being quickened to the words in the dream over and over again, "Never Alone". For as I understood the course I was taking was a time of being sifted and broken again. For those of you who have tread that ground regularly you know that it is a bitter sweet time...Not fun times but completely necessary in order for God to take us into the deeper things of Him. While the Lord was gracious enough to send words of encouragement by way of prophet after prophet over the last couple months, I am not one who seeks a word from a prophet but rather the voice of the Lord as He as created me to be a Seer. So you can imagine, these were hard times for me.
Oddly enough, during these months my ministry has budded. I signed a contract for a book and have been invited to speak at various events. None the less, I'm thinking, "God what a time for you to hide yourself. I need you more now than ever. I need to hear your voice".
What is interesting is that this growth has brought me to a place in my journey where a soul injury has been revealed.
We can equate this with the idea of traveling along a road and as we travel down this road we come to a pot hole. A huge pot hole, one that completely covers the road making it impassible. Because our destination is on the other side of this road we have two options: We could turn back and miss our destination or destiny altogether or we could repair the hole and continue on are journey towards our destination.
Let me explain how this applies. As long as I am safely hidden behind the monitor of my computer screen or in the secret of my prayer closet this injury is safe from the healer...However, my destination, my destiny is not to remain here. So, I have two options, I can remain on this side of the pot hole (injury) or I can allow God to heal it and continue on my journey towards the calling He has for me. Seems like a simple choice. Trust me, it's not. Even as I am writing this tears are flowing down my cheeks. For God reveals the brokenness in order to heal and restore not for us to remain broken.
HEARD: I am not breaking you, I am restoring you. I am healing you.
SAW: A large open wound just above my foot. I could see all the way to the bone.
SAW: The rear of a large jet lifting off.
The Lord revealed this wound as being inflicted by negative words from negative people in secret and behind my back. People who have ignored me, shunned me, made me feel as though I am not worthy of the calling I am professing to have. This attack on my flesh (as in the natural) has left a soul injury and before the Lord can advance me further...it has to be dealt with. Although I knew such things were being said and thought I never realized how deeply I had been injured by them...But, the Lord sees the injury and wants to make me whole...He wants to heal this wound before my ministry can completely soar. I have to be made whole...Free of soul injuries.
Interesting note: I had the "Never Alone" dream on 9/12. Today is 11/12.
Strong's Concordance: H912
corresponds with "Bedeiah" servant of Jehovah
Gesenius's Lexicon: "Bedeiah" translates this to be "In the protection of Jehovah"
Strong's Concordance: H1112 corresponds with
1) a murmur, murmuring, muttering
a) a secret debate
b) a secret displeasure not openly avowed
"11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light."(Ephesians 5:11-13)
For the Lord says, "You can do all things through me, you have my righteousness. I have called you and anointed you. I have made you worthy. I will heal you so you will be lacking nothing. You will be complete."
Quickened Word: Sow
SAW: A large needle and thread actively sowing the wound together.
HEARD: Let no man undo what I have done. You are my child and I will defend you.
"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."(Hebrews 4:12)
"For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,’ says the LORD, ‘ Because they called you an outcast saying: “ This is Zion; No one seeks her.”’ (Jeremiah 30:17)
"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake."(Psalm 23:3)
