I want to share these two experiences... it has been a couple of weeks since this has happened last but so much has happened here since then...None the less it's been on my heart lately...(smile)
First experience:
In February our pastor preached on Hell... It was probably one of the most moving sermons I have heard in a while....I felt the spirit moving throughout the congregation...It was a powerful message... My reaction though was so surprising to me... I am not at all an emotional person... I don't cry very easily at all... Yes, my heart may hurt... I may feel burdened, etc... But, crying is not something I can do very easily... But, this day during this sermon... I was sobing like a baby... I mean really emotional... My husband even turned to me and said, "Erica, are you okay?" He was so concerned over what was going on with me... but there wasn't anything particular going on with me... and I felt so strange saying to him, "Yes, I am fine.." When obviously I wasn't'... but I really was... I had no explanation for my tears.... When we left and on the car ride home I was praying over the situation... and I heard "There are so many.." I suddenly felt the huge impact of the situation... God's heart was breaking over so many people rejecting him.. casually turning away from him... receiving his pleading and beckoning as nothing more than off the cuff comments...as they so chose to ignore his call. My heart was burdened so heavily for those souls... I was feeling the weight of God's heart filled with hurt...and it was incredible!!
Second experience:
Easter Sunday my husband and I took our kids to my sisters church as they were having an Easter presentation on the Crucifixion of Christ. I had not really heard anything regarding the presentation so I only had an idea of what it would be like... But, the dream "Crucified with Christ" was still so fresh in my heart and on my mind that I am sure that impacted my emotions. However, again I become so incredibly emotional...The presentation was so real in it's enactment... I was almost a little hesitate to allow my 5 year old to stay in auditorium... None the less, again, sobbing...excessive sobbing...from the very first song... "Jesus" came out and had the last supper with his disciples and all I could hear was, "HE LOVED THEM SO MUCH" (still crying). Then "Jesus" walked from town to town healing the sick... (still crying)... But all I could see was "LOVE". Then when he was accused and the solders beat him and ridiculed him, mocking him all the way to the cross... (CRYING)!! I found myself praying and crying all the way through...feeling so unworthy for the exceptional grace that God has shown us... I felt his heart hurting as He watched His son being beaten and torn.... What love God has for us...What restraint He has not having called the whole thing off...commanding ten thousand angels to rescue him.... How badly God must have been hurt... Yet, he out of his love for me...allowed it.... and Jesus so willingly paid the price! OVERWHELMING! The reality of the event was so overwhelming...I was overtaken by emotions...my heart was hurting! So emotional...
As I have thought about these two events the last several days I have realized how related they are... I can imagine and feel the hurt God feels each and every time someone parishes needlessly.... He watched his son being tortured...so that no one would parish...not one! His love is so great that I believe he feels the crucifixion of his son all over again each and every time He is rejected and someone dies without knowing him... Wow, What a God we serve... How gracious... How kind... How loving....How can anyone reject someone like that?
Rom 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Ezra 10:1 "Now while Ezra was praying, and while he was confessing, weeping, and bowing down before the house of God, a very large assembly of men, women, and children gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept very bitterly."
Joel 2:12 "Now, therefore," says the LORD, "Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning."
